As a child to live with a new father? How child to come to terms with the new father?
As a child to live with a new father?
How child to come to terms with the new father?
Creating a new family, every woman hopes that the current choice is able to give a lot of happiness, not only her, but her child. Does not always make the emergence of a new family member painless for children from a previous marriage. As well as to smooth out the process?
Having gone through a divorce and deciding to start over with another person, it is necessary once again to ensure that the relationship is really serious. Only then is to acquaint the child with the new pope. Do not allow children's affection for the man, unsure of something. The child will have to endure another loss, and for the child's mind, such experiments are very dangerous.
Familiarize the child with the new pope is better gradually, especially since many children are quite excited about the new mom friend. Often, the child perceives the newfound family member in arms, and it is no good at relationships adults. If the mother and her new husband will fight together with the child, then many problems will not keep you waiting.
First of all, you should tell your child about his chosen one, to help him get used to the idea that in my mother's life was a man whom she loves. Correspondence with the child should introduce the man that told him about hobbies and passions of his child. So two people can more easily find a common language, which is the first step to take each other.
Better to arrange a first meeting on neutral territory. A man should not be invited to the house until the baby get used to his appearance in his and his mother's life. The child himself to speak on the subject at the time. Then will need to discuss with him some of the changes that will lead to the decision to live together. The child needs to be told how to shape a new life, to convince him to move to a new location (if necessary). Of course, it is better if the change is not expected so much, especially at first.
Absolutely can not force a child to call her new husband dad. When it matures, it will come to that. This is most easily obtained by children who barely remembers his dad. Older children to come to this difficult, especially if they are dealing with a real father, and with the new pope they have not all add up. It is better to let things go on their own, without haste or pressure.
If the child is actively talking with his father, it is completely unacceptable to say derogatory things about the former, antagonizing him. Also shortsighted cheat child about who his real father, even if he does not remember. The truth is hard to hide, and it is easy to lose the trust of the child. Who else but my mother can best explain that warm feelings for her stepfather is not a betrayal of the native father. A child should learn the truth: he has every right to feel good about the man who became his close friend, but not the biological father.
As the woman was not offended by her former husband, she must learn to control their emotions. It is no secret that many of the children after a divorce continue to think much of his father and secretly angry at her mother, who preferred another. The child is not inclined to analyze, from anyone who actually went. If a father sets up against the stepfather, the mother will have to talk to both of them. The child should be explained that the new husband does not claim to be a father and is not going to take his place, and his father try to convey that it hurts the child's mind and should not act like that, if the son or daughter he really expensive.
Preoccupied with new feelings moms should not forget about the relationship of the child and the stepfather. You can not ignore the rude attitude to the child's stepfather. Of course, some children are especially provoke conflicts, trying to split my mother with her new husband. But it happens, and so that the child prefers to run away from home, if the mother refuses to believe him, and his stepfather is actually in relation to him a tyrant.
Little man should be sure that my mother still loves him, and no one can change the strength of this love. Largely depends on the woman, how to be peaceful and harmonious relations in the newly-made family. That it has a warmth and love to resolve their conflicts, which, of course, will often arise. If two of the most important in human life can find common ground, we can assume that a woman's happiness was held.