According to psychologists, the «psychological vampires» — is not some entity that can pull someone out of the vital energy and eat it.
«Twilight», «watch», «Other Worlds» — and the world imperceptibly became inflamed with a tender love for vampires and other ghouls. The image of the pale face of high blood-suckers who can jump three feet in height and not die from bullets, has become a modern analogue of the romantic hero, a kind of superman. In the vampire has become fashionable to dress up in Halloween, and even the whole wedding, as Bella and Edward, have been held with the guests, «vampire» with appropriate sinister trappings.
But it was not to romance those encountered in everyday life with such unpleasant phenomena as psychological vampirism.
What is vampirism?
So, many realize how hard my heart is, after a moment of communication with a man: go somewhere every effort rolls apathy and hopelessly lost spirits. And the strange thing is that such metamorphoses can be hard every time on work positions or family connections have to communicate with that person.
The so-called biotherapists if exhausted victim treats it immediately will do all sorts of charms and amulets from the «energy vampire.» But the more sober-minded people will laugh at first mystical assumptions and seek help from professional psychologists. And here begins the most surprising: even in psychology there is a term such as «psychological vampirism.» That's just interpreted it differently.
So, according to psychologists, «psychological vampires» — is not some entity that can pull someone out of the vital energy and eat it. Emotional vampires call those people that really hard to communicate that something in their way to talk or look exasperated companion, deprive him of peace of mind and can even cause aggression. But all this can be called errors in behavior, whether intentional or unintentional.
Mistake number 1. Too slow or too fast speech
Each person has his own, favorite pace of conversation, and at the same algorithm, and he takes other people's words. And if the speed of word his companion several times higher than its own, it would constantly lose track of the conversation and soon starts to feel irritated by verbosity and empty words of another person.
Much the same thing happens when the other person speaks too slowly, and to tune in to this «old» rhythm, his companion again to spend a lot of energy.
Not for nothing, even in the art of NLP (neurolinguistic programming) always focuses on what's important to capture the natural rhythm of speech interlocutor and adapt to it — the only way people are talking to you can completely relax.
Otherwise, the greater will be the difference between the rate of release of information he and the person with whom he was talking, the greater its power and loss of power.
Mistake number 2. Excess negative
As solar and positive people are able to lighten the mood with a joke or just a gentle gaze, just as notorious pessimists can be painted in black tones all day with a word or remark. And bad the man who has to work on such a chief. Just five minutes of conversation — and no effort or inspiration.
What is interesting, very «vampire» does not eat with the energy lost his «victims». Although to some extent in his soul still gets a little easier — strangers smile and happiness of someone else's terribly annoying, and frankly it is nice to wash the smiles from those same people.
Mistake number 3. The habit of wasting time in vain
People who always take time, modern society is not much of a fan of — even those called «hronofagami», ie stealing other people's time. They — just champions for stupid questions and infinite care — make a new copier machine. The people of another anoint «parasites.» And at the time when you can finish a project or something else important for office work, many have either again to help in a trifle «hronofagu», or listen to his endless complaints to privacy.
These people are actually deathly afraid of loneliness and even dine at the cafe, they will never go alone. On the other hand, they can not understand why most of the staff they simply stay away. But in fact, behave rudely with «hronofagom» not everyone can by virtue of education, but to wait until he falls behind and finally deal with its affairs, painful and unpleasant. That is where the power and go after such communication.
Mistake number 4. Aggressiveness
In a society balanced and cool people we always feel protected. But when the other person — a man irascible and unpredictable, the mentality of people around him constantly in a state of alert (in fact, may at any time have to defend ourselves, even verbally). For example, when a person leaves a bad room, all of you literally breathe a sigh of relief — so affects the general tension that can not poop.
After a minute of the meeting with the psychological vampire may feel that it was his own unloaded at least ten cars, but it is not in the mystical ability to «vampires» stick to others. Yes, when a person has a mountain or he is too depressed, it will be in great need of someone's support, literally force pulling the other — but it is quite rare moments in life.
The same people, communication, and work with them on a service many exhausting, may not even be aware of his «vampirism.» Already today there are rarely the real «vampires» — sadistic by nature, to which depression and despair above all other values. But also on those, and those can be easily and reliably protect simple psychological techniques, which will be discussed in the next article.